Category Archives: Beef

Beef products were used.

Crock Polyamory

Carnita Crock

Was asked to crock our company holiday party (it was a bit late, but party none the less). Had 4 crocks going at once. A bit of sweat & some improvising made this happen. The only downside to this is that I don’t have many photos.

1. Carnitas

  • 3 lbs pork shoulder or 3 lbs pork butt
  • 4 cups chicken broth , hot
  • 2 tablespoons garlic powder
  • 2 tablespoons onion powder
  • 2 tablespoons cumin
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder , medium hot
  • 2 teaspoons ground coriander
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon lime juice
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt (to taste)
  • small tortillas

Cooking: basically throw the shoulder in cooker & dump the spices in – cook on LOW for 8hrs (we had to cook on HI for 4hrs)

Very good. Serve w/ shredded cabbage, salsa & sour cream on a small tortilla.

Let Us Wrap

2. Chicken Lettuce Wrap Things (the biggest hit) supposedly like PF Changs although, I’ve never had, but supposed to be good.

  • 1 1/2 pounds extra-lean ground chicken or turkey
  • 1 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 2 medium celery stalks, chopped
  • 1/2 cup hoisin sauce
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 tablespoons fresh ginger, grated
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar   no need to add this
  • 1 tablespoon sesame oil
  • 1/2 tablespoon Asian chile paste or spicy chili crisp
  • 5 ounces bamboo shoots, canned and drained
  • 12 ounces sliced water chestnuts, canned and drained
  • 1 cup fresh bean sprouts
  • 4 green onions, finely sliced
  • 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, minced
  • 14 crisp iceberg or romaine lettuce leaves
  • 1/4 cup hoisin sauce

Making this: put all of the ingredients in cooker – you’ll need to toss this quite a bit to make sure that the meat gets separated. May want to add a bit more hoison. Hoison not my fav, but most folks like the sweet meats.

Serve on Romaine lettuce or other broad leaf lettuce. Very delish. Everyone loved this dish, so this is a winner!

3. Swedish Meatballs

  • 1 cup bread crumbs – not spiced
  • 2 lbs lean ground beef
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
  • 2 tablespoons dried onion flakes
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon mustard powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • the below is for later –
  • 1 (10 1/2 ounce) can condensed French onion soup
  • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Cook this: lots of work

  • Put most ingredients together in lg bowl. Mix. Once mixed roll the mixture into teaspoon sized balls & put in cooker.
  • Cook on HI for 4hrs. At 4hr mark, mix last ingredients (soup, flour, sour cream & worcestershire) & pour over balls. Cook for another 1hr.

These were good, but not up to IKEA standards. Had leftovers 2 days later & way better then initial launch. So goes it & I wouldn’t discount the balls if you’re doing a party.


4. Veggie Chili

  • 1 Medium Zucchini, diced
  • 1 Medium Bell Pepper, diced
  • 1 Medium Onion, coarsely chopped
  • ½ cup Celery, coarsely chopped
  • 2 Jalapenos, seeded and chopped
  • 2 cloves Garlic, minced
  • 2 cans Ro-tels
  • 1 bag Frozen Corn, thawed
  • 1 can Kidney Beans, rinsed
  • 1 can Black Beans, rinsed
  • 1 can (14 oz) Vegetable Broth
  • 1 tsp Oregano
  • 3 tsp Chili Powder
  • 1 tsp Cumin
  • 1 tsp Crushed Red Pepper or, to taste
  • 1 tsp Salt or, to taste
  • 1 tsp Pepper or, to taste

Put all of this in crock & set for 8hrs (had to set for 4hr) – didn’t really eat this, but according to others this was very good & kinda spicy.

Cabbage Wraps

Rolls w/ no Sauce

First off – I apologize for my delay – got totally sidetracked by holidaze & am doing my best.

This one started by going to a “german-type” restaurant & a) they didn’t even have pretzels b) lamb sausage on bed of sauerkraut w/ lame slice of rye bread sitting on top is NOT how to do it. So, I had bright idea @ about 12am after being schooled on how to make a French 75 – from Steve @ Sound Spirits – to make something German-area by lunchtime.

Woke up late & improvised, but they actually turned out pretty damn good. As mentioned, I’m kinda like the Bob Ross of the crock w/o the fro. You can screw it up, but you can make it better somehow (or at least learn a lesson). Basically, had to pre-cook meat & rice.

Ran to store & had to pre-cook meat & rice & didn’t get to let it sit all day like it should have…here goes:

  • 12 leaves cabbage (or so)
  • 1 cup uncooked white rice
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1/4 cup diced onion
  • 1 pound extra-lean ground beef
  • 1/4 cup bread crumbs (used non-herbed)
  • 1 1/4 tblsp salt (I never add the salt – if you want it later – thats your deal, man)
  • 1 1/4 tblsp ground black pepper
  • 1 cans diced tomatoes w/ juice
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
  • *secret thingy – added 1 red jalapeno to meat mixture – this was the hat trick

Making this thing:

  • Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Boil cabbage leaves for a few minutes – just look & see if the top ones start separating from head (hehe)
  • Pull leaves off, be careful not to rip them if you can – if so, screw it, set them aside to cool for wrapping
  • In large bowl, combine 1 cup rice, egg, milk, onion, ground beef, pepper, bread crumbs & jalapeno.
  • Place enough meat in each leaf to even them out – then roll them up, sorta like making a burrito, but in German…plus, you get to put a toothpick thru them.
  • Mix can of tomatoes, lemon juice & worcestershire sauce together / pour half in crock, add the rolls then pour other half on top.
Rolls w/ Sides

Drop in crock for 8hrs. As mentioned, I had to hurry so put it on for 4hrs & turned out great.


You can drop diced up potatoes on top of the mixture @ 2hrs (so as not to get mushy) or just boil some & pour leftover crock sauce on them (German gravy?)

Nice crusty bread works too for sopping up.

End result: excellent filling dish & not terribly hard to make & you can say “scheisse” a lot while making.

Topf on! (loosely translated)


Slow Pho Soup

Pho Sides

I was a tad sick last week so thought I’d get some pho soup (did so & gave me idea…) – hence making me think crocking one would be a good idea.

This really isn’t that terribly hard, but I learned a few things in the process. So, “true” pho would mean me soaking bones & getting marrow out & whatnot. I’m kinda lazy so this wasn’t an option. But….I did learn nite before while picking up some last minute ingredients that I have a butcher in my neighborhood. I shall venture to use them in some of my crocks from now on. I kinda wish I’d have done it the old fashioned way. Alas, did not.

Had a fantastic conversation w/ guy from China (also nite before) & we talked about eating brains, livers, spleens & his fav tongue. So, I’m thinking about keeping it real when possible – expect more adventurous dishes. I digress… (btw, this is a Vietnamese dish)

Here it goes – main ingredients:

  • 6 cups beef broth or stock
  • 2 tblsp ginger (diced / shredded)
  • 3 sliced green onions
  • 1 lb thin sliced beef (used flank steak – more later on this)
  • 1 tblsp fish sauce
  • 1 tblsp t black pepper
  • 1 pkg rice noodles (DO NOT ADD TO COOKER) – this can be hard to find the correct ones too. I’m gonna ask next time I order pho.
  • 2 anise star
  • 1 cinnamon stick

Sides that added in afterwards:

  • mung bean sprouts
  • jalapenos (leave them in long enough to spice – do not eat)
  • thai basil (red basil)
  • 1/2 sliced onion (very thin) – actually put 1/2 in while cooking for flavor
  • more green onions
  • soy sauce / oyster sauce (just a bit, oyster sause is VERY salty & can have MSG, that is a no,no in my book)
  • rooster sauce (Sriracha) – although my love for this runs deep, I like to keep my soup naked
  • mint leaves
Pho Dish

You’ll either need to slice your own beef or have butcher do this – would suggest having butcher do so.

I really wanted to slice my own. Did my best slicing thin, no go  – leave it to pro. On that note, have them slice the “leanest” beef possible. The flank steak came out fine – actually fell apart, but was SUPER greasy in the end once soup was cooling – the bowl got that yucky “fat ring”.

ALERT: cook the rice noodles separate – you can add them to broth (so if you have leftovers – noodles won’t be soggy)

  • Also on that note – I have never, ever been able to cook rice noodles correctly. Either they come out soggy/sticky or still semi-hard (giggle)

Lastly, my bad –  bought actual “pho broth” which I had no idea existed & was excited. Luckily, before adding anise, ginger & cinnamon read the box – it had all that stuff in broth. That was a good $10 bucks down the toilet. Maybe, I’ll make old fashioned anise for xmas…nope.

End result: excellent. Pretty damn close to the stuff from pho restaurant.

Oh, I bought amazing soup spoons that you can hook on side of bowl!

Philly Cheese Steak Crock

earl of sandwich
earl of sandwich

This was a super fun one. Wanted to make a philly steak, but w/ a twist & this really was an amazing crock.

The crock experience started w/ appetizer – Bud Light Clamato, thank you lady friend. Out of left field always makes your morning football boozing more acceptable & it is some sort of fruit/veg so you don’t need to feel bad about it @ 10am…right?

Keep in mind I did provide, carrots, celery & cali w/ a perfectly aged ranch creaming or semi-solid food product.


  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 pound thinly sliced sirloin steak strips (ask your butcher & they’ll lead you in right direction)
  • 8 ounces sliced fresh mushrooms (dark crini)
  • 1 green bell pepper, seeded and cut into strips
  • 1 medium onion, sliced
  • 6 slices provolone cheese
  • 1 loaf French bread (find a longer / thinner one than I did)
  • 1 (14 ounce) can beef broth
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 3 cloves garlic diced
  • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
  • 1/4 cup Pinot Noir – super cheap is fine
  • 2 tablespoons  cup prepared horseradish
  • 2 tablespoons cup brown mustard
full earl of sandwich
full earl of sandwich

The Directions:

  • Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the beef, & cook until browned – pull from skillet – you don’t want to overcook.
  • Add the mushrooms, bell pepper and onion; cook this stuff up until limp – transfer to crock.
  • Add the beef broth, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, red pepper flakes and red wine to the crock.
  • Cover, and cook on High for 4 hours, until beef is extremely tender.
  • Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Put the liquid in container & save for dippin’. Trust me, this makes you happy.
  • Slice the French bread loaf in 1/2.
  • Mix together the horseradish and mustard; spread onto each side of loaf.
  • Put the provolone slices on each side – put that bitch together.
  • Wrap the loaf in foil- bake fo 15+ minutes in the preheated oven.
My side dish (gasp) was to bake sweet potato fries (me & sweet taters have been arch enemies):
  • 2 sweet potatoes – sliced in 1/4 in sticks
  • coat w/ olive oil
  • add dash of seat salt & coarse grd. pepper – toss it around like you just don’t care
  • Put in pre-heated oven 10 mins before adding the sandwich
  • turn once @ 7 mins or so & cook for extra 7 mins
Dammit, I want to be snarky or funny, but I cannot. Well, beyond the fact that the bread I bought was HUGE & made me giggle the whole time I was making it. Kinda felt like I was making a prop for small person large food commercial.
It was also mentioned whether I was making a soup bread bowl… NO, I was making a Duke of Freaking Philly Sandwich! Get off my back about the bread, seriously. Seriously, now I’m self-concious about amount of bread, Ugh.

Please, if you haven’t tried a rock out w/ your crock out yet, do this one. Or, at least git yer old lady to get up @ 7am to make this delicious meal for you ready at noon… I said noon woman (man).

Keep your feet on the ground & your crock on the counter.

Simple Chili or Simply Chili

capt chili
Capt Chili - not the first to die cause I have yellow shirt, not red

Well, it finally came to this – Oct. 31st & I had to make some chili. It is way easy & I can dutch oven myself later in the evening.

This crock never ever fails. Did you hear me dammit, EVER.

The ingredients:

  • 2 cans kidney beans (sometimes I get nutty switch one out w/ black beans or some other bean, they all work) – 1 drained, 1 un-drained
  • 2 cans diced tomatoes – undrained (or you can go naughty & do 2 cans Rotel)
  • 1 lb lean cooked beef (could be chopped chicken or Yves Veggie ground whatnot or stew meat) – need I say, drain the fat fatty!
  • 1 tblsp cayenne + more if you like it spicy, I know you do…
  • 1 onion diced
  • 1 can (4 oz) green chiles
  • 1 packet of the chili powder stuff (McCormick or store brand – doesn’t matter) – you don’t really need to add this, I just found one so threw it on in there
  • sour cream / greek yougurt
  • green onions (handful)
  • shredded cheese


  • Throw all that crap in to the crock & put on LOW for 8 hrs or HI for 4
  • must I clarify – not the sour cream, green onions or cheese – that would totally mess it up numb nuts! (Capt. Chili’s words not mine)

Top with:

  • dollop of sour cream or my fav – some greek yogurt
  • shredded cheese (the 4 way mexi stuff works wonders or tear up american slices & make a pentagram – your call)
  • green onions


  • cornbread – we had leftovers
  • crushed up saltines & then some full ones to dip with
  • some nice crusty bread
This is NOT Diarrhea

Bam girlfriend, you have yourself a meal & then some! Actually, I almost enjoy the chili a day or 2 afterwards since it gets thicker while sitting.

As the Great Pumpkin said: Give unto chili & it will give thrice later in bed.
Crock on you crazy diamond.

What a Crock of Nothing

Good news! I secured the domain name (thx Aaron for the idea – have to give credit where it is due). So, sometime in near future I’ll be sporting ads for Summers Eve, Good Cooking & Real Mature Singles. Click at your own risk.

Serious Gravy
Rock Out With Your Gut Out

I had to take a weekend off of the crock. I contemplated it, but alas, it was too late. Otherwise I would have made a serious concoction of Rainer beer, frozen gyoza, Tim’s Cascade Vinegar/Salt chips & store brand sauerkraut – but I thought best of that one. Who knows what kind bowel chowder that would have produced…lets not think of such things & move on.

I spent weekend with good friend from Omaha consuming mass amounts of area micro beers & showing him that Seattle isn’t all rain (until today). On monorail (mono meaning one & rail meaning rail) we talked about eats during Seahawks game & I immediately went gravy side. Here is NON crock recipe, but if you are wanting some white trash comfort food, this one will do the trick. And it seems appropriate for a Husker game – which we freaking won!

1 lb grd beef
1 can beef broth, divided (we stand)
1/2 onion
2 tbl parsley
1 tbl basil
2 garlic cloves
some salt & pepper
2 tbl cornstarch – you’ll need more trust me

Mashed potatoes – about 8 or so, 1 lg dollop of butter, 1/4 | 1/3 cup milk & 1 small container of Greek yogurt (zing). You need to boil the potatoes first of course or do I need to hold your hand thru that process also? If I do, take off apron, look in mirror & say “I’m not cut out to boil things”.

In a large skillet, cook beef; drain.
Add 1-1/4 cups beef broth, onion, parsley, basil, garlic, season salt and pepper.
Simmer, uncovered, for about 10 minutes or until onion is tender.

In a small bowl, combine cornstarch and remaining broth until smooth – I said smooth dammit, not lumpy!

Stir into beef stuff. Bring to a boil; cook and stir until thickened (this is where you might need to add a tad more cornstarch, its ok even if its hot, just whisk it up a bit)
Toast some toast, put mashed potatoes on toast & then smother with gravy beef goodness.

Oh, by the by – the side dish was okra. Much to my dismay it had to be the frozen kind (slimy bastard) since I’d had too much vitamin R (Seattle reference) to deal with being all epicurious or bicurious or trycurious.

Next up – some sort of Vegan healthy crap for Carla’s GI problems.